A Journey of Unwavering Love
Caring for My Mother Through Pain, Recovery, and Connection
As I reflect on my mother's incredible journey, I'm reminded of the preciousness of each moment we share. Our relationship has seen its fair share of ups and downs, but through it all, love has been our constant companion.
I moved my mother from her home of 50 years in Albany to New York City, and later—after the loss of my husband—I moved her again, leaving my home of 30 years in NYC, this time relocating us to Naples, Florida.
It was a tough decision to uproot her—not once, but twice—hoping to bring stability to her life as she navigated the challenges of mental health struggles. While I wrestle with the guilt of altering her path, I've come to realize that love often means making difficult choices.
Even when decisions come from a place of love, I sometimes struggle with the feeling that they might have limited her ability to find joy in her own way.
This January, my mom suffered a devastating fall, breaking her femur. The first surgery was a total failure. Initially, the doctor attributed her drop foot and numbness to her back, but it turned out her leg was the issue all along. It took a second surgery to address the damage properly.
In the midst of this, we faced the harsh realities of two-star nursing homes, an utterly dysfunctional healthcare system, health insurance that leaves an elder fighting for their rights, and the cognitive toll of anesthesia clouding her fragile mind. Watching her endure all of this while managing it all as her healthcare proxy, was heart-wrenching. The long scar on her leg stands as a stark reminder of the struggle she’s endured.
And yet, despite everything, she’s healing.
Slowly but surely, with our focused therapy sessions, she’s regaining her strength and resilience. To witness this recovery, against such incredible odds, feels like nothing short of a miracle—a testament to her unwavering resilience and spirit - even as she battles mental and emotional challenges of depression and crippling anxiety.
Our roles have shifted; I'm no longer just a daughter but also her caregiver, stylist, and therapist.
It's a profound reminder that love transforms and adapts through a lifetime, teaching us compassion and patience. Our ability to balance the challenges with moments of resilience and love is remarkable.
I’m 100% invested in Team Linda.
This Mother's Day, I invite you to celebrate the unique bond you share with your mother if she is still here on the planet, and if she has left her form, pause and give thanks for the lessons your relationship has taught you.
Embrace the imperfections, the challenges, and the moments of joy.
While I know, our time together as human beings is fleeting, every moment I share with her is filled with opportunities to express unwavering love and we continue to grow a bond that spans all time and space. We will be together always and in that, I feel love in my heart.
I hope reading this touches yours and you give thanks to your mother with unwavering love today.
For the Caregivers, the Daughters, and the Ones Who Show Up—We See You.
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